50% work in progress
Introduction
It is always amazing to have a rest and take a time on
reflecting past things that you have done. You may realise that how childish
are you for looking a small matter until a big issue. The process is like, hey
why those days I need to laugh and cry on such small matter. Every single
opportunity that you have bravely taken has change your perspective in much matter.
My first 2 years university life franking speaking, most
of my time was spent on event, no matter being participants or organising
committee. I have very little time on what is so called supper time because
most of my night are spent on meeting, either activities or assignment. It is a
kind of regret for me to over focus on personal development until I have
ignored much social life. I think it is good to summarise my half university
life with a few elements.
1. Rejection
The process of accepting rejection isn’t easy. When I
first time enter university, I will never imagine that University of Malaya is such
a competitive place. You will never forget during every single orientation,
seniors are going to tell you coming to university is to do what you enjoy and
learn something new. However, the harsh reality is it is difficult to get what
you really want without a strong historical record, especially in competitive event.
I didn’t have a stunning co-curricular past record in school, with limited
talent and capability, it was a norm for me to face lot of rejections during
interview. It may sound fantastic that I have much track record of event
experience currently, but the truth is most of my commitment are not my first
choice, but it seems like the only choice to select since I have no better
alternative.
The most heart-breaking moment was the moment I got
rejection after spending a few days generating a 12 pages proposal. At the end
I was not even offered any single position. I was attending a volunteering briefing
for a debate competition during that period while I knew I was not selected. It
was indeed Dark Ages for the university life. I could never imagine that there was
a day that I was no longer needed as part of the team.
However, the rejection has turned out becoming a great
thing in the end. It takes me a few days to sit in room and do a complete
self-reflection. I start to appreciate whatever that I have and decide to
strive harder to prove myself. In first-year I used to believe that the more
events you join, the more things you gain. But at the end, it is not about the
quantity, but quality matters most. After continuous different commitment on
September 2018, I decide to change my attitude towards event. I reject quite a
few offers and just focus on a few commitments on second year. I wish from that
period onward, I manage to bring some impact from the position held instead on
just getting the title and designation. If not, at least I need to learn how to
enjoy the process.
Lesson: The conclusion is you cannot just say be yourself all
the time and do only what you like because this is the reality of world. Accept
the alternate offer first before you get a better choice. Every bad thing that
incur might turn out to be something positive at the end. Just be optimistic
and do it in the utmost. Whatever that you do, do it sincerely.
2. Mistake
It is always great honour to be bestowed with
responsibility. However, there is a lot of time due to the desire to attempt, I
forget what is so-called understand your own limitation. In first-year I apply
whatever event because I used to think that I can cope with it. At the end,
great projects reject me, but I receive a lot of small projects. At the end, I
make myself over hectic, but not everything that I am busy with can add on my
self-value. First year life is quite horrible for me, I am pushing myself too hard
until I forget about the initial motive for joining something. I join a lot of
activities but at the end I feel that I do not learn much. My excitement from participating activities has lost.
In first year, becoming Pemudahcara Mahasiswa is my
goal. In order to achieve it, I need to perform well in my residential college
commitment. At the end, I decide to quit some external commitment, because it
does not align with my objective. I am sorry for the moment I quit certain
commitment, and I think what if those days I was mature enough to face the
problems by having a heart-to-heart talk first instead of just quitting it.
Honestly, it may be one of the greatest mistakes in my half university life.
During the commitment I did a lot of mistakes due to
the lack of experience and confidence. My low self-esteem characteristic causes
huge trouble for myself. It takes me a long time for me to partially overcome
it. And still, thank you for those who still believing and willing to give me
an opportunity even though frankly speaking I had done quite a few horrible
errors in the past event. Every single exposure has more or less changed me a lot in term of
maturity in decision making. Forgive me if today I am still not good enough.
Lesson: The conclusion is be brave to step out from comfort
zone and embrace the new challenges. Learn to enjoy the process even though you need to
do something that you are not familiar with. Move forward even though you have done mistake, university shall be a place for
you to learn and grow.
3. Award
In my school life, I was a pessimistic and introvert boy, at that moment I don't even know how am I going to survive in the campus. I was fortunate enough in
my half university life, I manage to receive 4 personal award and 1 team competition
award. However, the reality is there are more and more people surrounding who
have better talent and stronger qualification to hold the title. I admit that
sometimes I am the lucky one, but the luck only comes when they see you
have enough hard work. I am still learning every single day from everyone.
It does not matter you are seniors, batchmates or juniors, every person has respective intrinsic quality. I believe that award does not define somebody, just like CGPA does not define a person’s capability in workforce. I love to be participative and listen the idea around on how to make something better instead of looking at historical record, especially on the current system and strategy, no matter who you are. One person is never perfect, but when we consolidate each other strengths and weaknesses and brainstorm together in a team, we will be innovatively perfect.
It does not matter you are seniors, batchmates or juniors, every person has respective intrinsic quality. I believe that award does not define somebody, just like CGPA does not define a person’s capability in workforce. I love to be participative and listen the idea around on how to make something better instead of looking at historical record, especially on the current system and strategy, no matter who you are. One person is never perfect, but when we consolidate each other strengths and weaknesses and brainstorm together in a team, we will be innovatively perfect.
It is indeed a sad case for most people to look at
position and award as the only definition of success. When you get involved in
something, the knowledge and experience that you gain cannot be measured
quantitatively. And yet, this invaluable abstract is going to bring you to
somewhere further in your life. It does not matter you are a leader or follower, you are equally important in an organisation. Friendship is another kind of
award that you will gain by joining events. Rather that only hanging around,
joining event together can make you more understand a person, and the leftover
friendship is long-lasting. Yet, it is another unmeasurable item. Life is about self-progression, just keep learning, unlearning and relearning constantly.
Lesson: The conclusion is not everything in the world can be measured
by data, no matter how strong the technology is. Be humble and keep learning
from everyone, emphasise on the inner core value rather than the person when making
judgement.
Conclusion
You don't need to be rich to donate, same goes that
you don't need to be successful to share experience. Every single experience,
no matter it is a good or bad one, can orchestrate you to become better self-version.
I am grateful for choosing to be actively join event in my first two years of
university life. The uncertainty throughout the process is worrying yet thrilling.
My last advice, enjoy and learn throughout the process
and share the journey. You will never know how far you can go until you give yourself
a try. Always bear in mind that you are always amazing in your own way.
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